Friday Column: Beer and Batflips

It’s my turn to attempt to brighten up your undoubtedly productive Friday morning and set you up for a sunny weekend of no storms and deck drinking. Speaking of drinking…

Josh’s Beer Review of the Week

Photo by:

This week I tried a lite beer from a microbrewery called Miller Brewing Company called Miller Lite. The first drink provided an indeed light and refreshing drink, and at only 98 calories? You get outta here! The further I got into the beer, the more I was teleported away to a slow moving and shallow river full of drunk 19-year olds splashing freezing cold water on unsuspecting families. I was surrounded by friends and “friends” of friends that had all passed out in our raft from drinking/sun exposure and I was alone dragging the lot of us through rocks without water shoes on. Thankfully I still had a 3/4 full can of the sweat of the gods that is Miller Lite. Oh Jesus! Was that lightning?!?!?!? So it tasted like…that…but in a good way.

Better know a prospect

Last week I got the opportunity to ask Northwest Arkansas speedster, Nick Heath, some questions and Nick was awesome.

  1. What’s your favorite baseball lingo? (can-o-corn, ducks on the pond, rippin’ bags, etc)

    “That’s a tough question, recently we’ve had a guy (Featherston) who kind of introduced our team to the term “Good Heat” and it’s usually when guys are kind of laying into one another with jokes or a little banter, it’s kind of taken over and usually it’s when guys get a good laugh from someone else’s jokes towards another person. Other than that, being an outfielder, the term “shoot him” when referring to throwing somebody out kind of gets me going. Especially when the guys around me throw people out. As an outfielder there isn’t really too many things better than when you throw a kid out trying to get an extra 90 feet!”
  2. Are ghosts real?

    “I’m not sure if I believe in ghosts, but my roommate is DJ Burt and the house we stay in has a bush by the window so if the wind blows right the leaves or branches tap the window from time to time and we usually just say our place is haunted. So depends on my setting, but usually I’m not a firm believer in ghosts. It’s safe to say I’m never like, “Oh this ghost is going to get me,” it’s usually me thinking some killer is around the corner waiting for me.”
  3. What’s your go-to adult beverage?

    “My go to adult beverage, thanks to a friend, is Jack and Coke. Or a good shot of tequila. Depends on my mood and if I have an off day or not the next day. On evenings when I have an off day after, like next week, it’s tequila. Other than that jack and coke is my drink of choice!”
  4. If you could swim in a pool of any liquid, what would it be?

    “A pool of any liquid, I think would be an orange Fanta. When I was a kid I was a big fan of Keenan and Kel and they always said, “Who loves orange soda? KEL loves orange soda!” So for the sake of the question and the fact that I couldn’t swim in to many other things I think orange soda would be my go to. Maybe when I get a mouth of orange soda instead of chlorine filled pool water when I’m swimming I don’t think I’d complain too much!”
  5. What was the last movie you’ve seen and was it better than the movie Road House?

    “The last movie I saw in theaters was Avengers End Game. I’m a huge Marvel fan so watching the movie I got a little attached to characters like I’m sure a lot of people do. So that hit me a little different at the end. If you haven’t seen it I recommend watching them all in order and it’ll really make you feel a certain way! Got me a little teary eyed at the end! Road House was a really good movie, but I haven’t seen it in so long that I couldn’t remember how it went down exactly so I’m going to have to say Avengers. Although I’m quite positive I’d have some teammates that say Road House is arguably a movie that can’t be topped! You have inspired me to watch it tonight so after we play Springfield tonight I’m totally going to get a bag of popcorn and cut Road House on as soon as I find where to watch it!”

Nick was a GREAT sport and immediately jumped in on some really dumb questions. Thanks again to Nick. You can follow him on twitter @inheathwetrust.

How ’bout that draft, huh?

On Monday, MLB held their amateur draft and we at Royals Farm Report had all kinds of FREE content for your cheapskate asses!

Day 1 Draft Grades
In-Depth Analysis of Bobby Witt Jr
Scouting Report on Brady McConnell
Scouting Report on Alec Marsh
Why the Brady McConnell Pick Was A Brilliant Idea

The Royals’ class was highlighted by future A-Rod/Patrick Mahomes, Bobby Witt Jr., and it seems like Kansas City is already smitten with this kid. He is expected to sign for close to his full slot value which is between $7-8 million.

Let’s set aside the debate about minor leaguers not getting paid enough. I think most of you reading this right now would tend to agree that they don’t get paid enough. Cool? Have we addressed that? OK let’s move on.

Every draft I always struggle with wrapping my head around giving an 18-year old millions of monies. I know who I was at 18 years old and I should NOT have had millions of dollars. You wanna know what 18 year old Josh would’ve done?

Out Cold on DVD

I bought this movie on DVD. It was not critically acclaimed by any means, indicated by its 8% Rotten Tomatoes score. To me this movie is still a TOP 10 COMEDY MOVIE and I will not listen to any argument otherwise. It might be Top 5. As good as this movie was, I probably didn’t need to own it. I think it’s been played three times in the past fifteen years. I would’ve purchased multiple copies for myself and one for each family member.

Replica swords from The Lord of the Rings

Yeah I bought swords off Ebay. Swords are pretty awesome and replica swords from popular movies are even awesom-er. But did I need to spend good money on them? Sure. Did I need to spend good money on ten of them? Probably not. Whoops.

Plymouth Prowler

Have you ever wanted to own a full size Hot Wheels car? Well this was your first shot. The Plymouth Prowler was marketed from 1997-2002 and I had a slight obsession with them. I never bought one, but had I had the means, I’d have bought 20. In hindsight, I’m realizing that the front wheels being outside the body of the car doesn’t seem super practical. This car is the flip-flop of cars. Ever stub your toe in flip-flops? I’m fairly certain that if you stubbed this cars toe, it would immediately catch fire.

In summary, not all 18-year olds are like me but they’re not far off. The majority is way closer to buying replica swords off Ebay than they are opening a savings account. With this in mind, let’s talk about voting laws…

On this day in Royals history…

On the night of June 5, 1996 (time of writing) after a win against the Oakland A’s, Bob Hamelin ate 77 hot dogs on the flight back to KC, an official franchise record. Upon landing, Bob’s small intestine filled up with a Chestnut sized workload due to the “Mile High Intestinal Expansion” effect. On the following day, Bob hopped from bathroom stall to bathroom stall in Kauffman, christening each and reeking havoc on the plumbing. Emergency plumbing crews had to come in on the off day and clear the lines before the following series with Seattle. To this day, the stadium maintenance team refer to that day as “The Hamelin”.


Photo Courtesy of Miller Coors

One thought on “Friday Column: Beer and Batflips

  1. Pingback: Minor League Minutes: 6/8/2019 | Royals Farm Report

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